brickwallviews

try as i might

If you want to confuse someone you randomly meet on the street, say, “Tonight the storm arrives and with it, years of suffering.” Then make the sign of the cross in the air and back away slowly.

-sam pink

there's nothing on the top but a bucket and a mop
and an illustrated book about birds
you see a lot up there but don't be scared
who needs action when you got words

-meat puppets, plateau

 

a few words by the mailbox

yo dude hey homey pardon me dawg

a moment of your time

just a sec, a word if i may

you roll through here in that so-called ride

man that thing is beat brother. beat

but anyway, i realize you're a busy man, kid, whatever

just a couple things

A... that rap, that jam, 'dem tunes is just awful

i mean really really bad. not the shit in a good way ya know?

what are you thinkin'?

B... that system, or box or frickin' transistor fucking radio of yours

just sucks bro'            sucks

i mean, you trying to be all hard and shit and your speakers sound like some cat beatin' on a tin roof with a Slugger

good god man have some respect for that noise at least

so yea, just thought i'd mention it ya know

and that misguided need to be "bad" and shit

probably stems from a clearly warped sense of right and wrong

i'm just sayin' man just talkin' here

so yea, go on, take care, good talkin' to ya and stuff

good luck with that future and all

i know i know

fuck me

 

derby county 2 - 6 arsenal

one could use more days like this brother!

 

brickwallboyout.

eugene delacroix, fanatics of tangier (1838)

so they say

the hero dies in this one (again)

the lady is standing there waving and screaming

a figure in the water

bobbing

slapping

he is out of his shoes and hurdling the breaks

the figure, a boy, is beyond panic

eyes wide

flesh like chalk

the struggle is over before the moment settles in

the last thing he saw was the boy body surfing into his mothers arms

he has several moments of near clarity

he sees

his children smiling

he wishes

he could hold his wife

simply embrace her and cherish the connection, the warmth

he thinks of a past due phone charge

he sees

pollock's full fathom five

he regrets

never

learning

to swim.

 

arsenal meet bottom-of-the-table derby county this afternoon. c'mon you gunners!

 

be well and stuff.

brickwallboyout.

jackson pollock, full fathom five (1948)

persona non grata

I been to the edge, an' there I stood an' looked down

You know I lost a lot of friends there baby, I got no time to mess around

Mmmm, so if you want it got to bleed for it baby

Yeah, got to got to bleed baby

Mmmm, you got to got to bleed baby

Hey, got to got to bleed baby

-david lee roth, ain't talkin 'bout love

 

mr roth really was (is?) a gentleman and a scholar, no?

he shits rock-stars the likes of pete wentz baby!

 

anyway, off to visit the kiddos' new school today... then to the new market...

this little piggy and all that...

 

read this. discuss. there will be a pop quiz.

 

brickwallboyout.

howdy neighbor

birds sang, leaves blowing in the breeze

the family attempting to paint an old swing

make it semi new again

it never comes as a surprise, the moment of proclaiming

she stood at the fence and shouted

an offer to be neighborly, to share in beer and wine

my wife looked at me and politely declined, claiming end-of-weekend exhaustion

this tale was true but also a cover

a kind deferment

i hold no pride nor shame in my alcoholism

for it is simply another bag i must tote

my own scarlet letter

me attempting to paint an old habit

paint it over. erase

the telling is never easy for a drunk

i coach your kids and i'm an alcoholic

no thanks, just some iced resentment for me

i am not frankenstein, nor his monster

weakness and darkness spill from my pours

but do not fear me because of this

i think myself a pretty nice fellow i do

so let's talk a talk and walk a walk

no small child dreams of loneliness

 

only my serial murder aspirations should perhaps bring pause

 

brickwallboysigningoff

 

just what the world needs

another dad dream poem

was that a dream?

surely it must have been

certainly it was dream then

awoke with an image burned against my mind's eye

my father floating there bearded as ever

dust blowing across west texas highways

red dirt on knees and hips of baseball pants

coffee coffee coffee

tapping the marker cap-down on the table

we were visitors in one another's lives

making small sketches with snapshots

learning too late to savor each bite

lotus as sports car

jazz as lesson plan

i shall dine on our moments in your honor

eggs sunny side

bacon extra crispy

please pass the hour glass

 

 

the gunners took care of reading 2-nil at the emirates yesterday. gilberto hit a screamer! could be his last "moment" as a gunner.

 

liverpool v chelsea and man united v barcelona in the CL semi's this week. good stuff despite our absence.

 

andrew wyeth, winter 1946 (1946)

green market day

mrs brickwall has the opening of her new farmers market gig today... much chaos this week!

go green and stuff yo!

read this whilst you wait for me to post something deeply sentimental...

 

brickwallboyout.

taxation with(out) representation

yea right. you see anyone in dc that represents YOU?

fuck you and your turbo tax!

iggy pop for president!

 

Headlines
War Dims Hope for Peace.
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told.
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead.

Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies.
War Dims Hope for Peace.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead.

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
War Dims Hope for Peace.

Stolen Painting Found by Tree.
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead.

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms.
Police Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
War Dims Hope for Peace.Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead.

"Headlines" by Robert Phillips, from Circumstances Beyond Our Control: Poems.

 

bwbout.

where is this headed?

sipping hot coffee in the cool porch air

birds are starting the day with song

traffic noises in the distance fade into black

the tv flickers behind me

tallying the tragedies of another fading night

murder rape fire theft

busy busy people as i did not sleep

being awake not really in the plan i recall

being this being not in my itinerary

do the birds have their dreams die

do the family pets long for something more

we scratch an invisible itch in unison

exchange a thoughtful look

book

cook

nook

what was the last drink i took

song song song song song

 

SO! we learn much about our lads today... after a rough spell the heart-o-meter will get a good chance for a reading as we call on Man U this morning. will they lie down? rise up? have a decent go? 10am cst. we will either have a nail biting climax to the season in the 3 weeks ahead or start looking to the summer transfer window. today we will know.

 

you people have a fine little sunday now, ya hear!

bwb out.

 

francis bacon, study for self-portrait

upset at being so upset

"I believe that we have to live with that and sometimes you have to swallow it. It is like that but it is very difficult to understand it because it was not a penalty tonight. I watched it clearly again. Last week [the challenge on Hleb] was a real penalty but we have to accept it. As well we have to accept in a game like that where we had so much control, but we were too naive. We lacked a little bit of maturity defensively."

-arsenal manager, arsene wenger

"To me it was a clear-cut penalty in the first leg and then one was given against them in the second leg. That's why he was not happy. At the top level a decision like that can make you or break you."

-LIVERPOOL legend and president of the french football federation, gerard houllier

 

so yea, it is 5am. How can i sleep after such heartbreak. devastation. how can i go on living pretending things are holly jolly. it hurts. so so much. it's like trying to explain why a drunk takes that "first drink" knowing all the negative consequences.

if you don't understand. you never will.

is the pain a presence or a void? a pit? the seventh level of hell?

 

ehh fuck it, just a game right.

 

... i noticed the girl. redhead. yea, i looked, what am i gay? ummm... well anyway, yea i looked over and she was quite attractive. but what i really noticed is that she was somehow more attractive due to the tears rolling down her face. then i saw him. oh shit brother did he ever have the look. the, "yes the ship is sinking and that dude there just got the last life-raft". i have worn the look and given the look and it ain't pretty people. she was crying but he was the one that was praying or death.

so i sipped my java and minded my own business... for a second. i saw the shock and awe stage, the "i can change stage", the imagining her holding someone else's hand, some one else's cock stage.

i lit another cigarette.

things were settling down into "words have run their course"..."expended their effectiveness"...

blank stares. wandering eyes.

tears dripping on the beautifully foamed mocha lattes.

memories of similar "talks" and the resulting bridge-jumping scenarios.

"i can change"

"you don't understand"

his face is actually making me cry a little.

brutal.

i wanted to

 

       i    really wanted               to

 

but            it

 

                    seemed a bit harsh. inappropriate.

 

i wanted to

i wanted to walk over

 

                        and

 

give

her

mr

hobbs'

                   

 

 

                    phone number.

 

brickwallboyout.

 max beckman, man and woman (1932)

they say it's only a game

poor finishing

plus

disorganized defending

equals

liverpool 4 - 2 arsenal

 

 

off to bed then

 

brickwallboyweeps